I Joined Chess Club For You
by One More Time With Feeling
Summary: It was late and Cammie was missing Zach again. Which in all honesty, wasn't really much of a surprise, because she spent most of her nights (as well as her days) missing Zach. . . Or Cammie loves Zach and Zach loves Cammie, but Summer doesn't last forever and Cammie has to go to college in Boston. (AU)


**Okay, so I know I have to update Monkey Bars, but again, I wanted to write, but like, I didn't want to write that kind of chaptered fic, because I was feeling different themes and such, whatever. So, I started writing this a week ago, and right in the middle of it I got like really sick (Throwing up and stuff) so I wasn't really stable writing some of it. So, if it doesn't make sense to you, or the writing style is off the charts crazy, just know I was probably off it when I wrote it. Summer's kept me busy, but I am hoping to update my chaptered fic soon. It'll probably be a while. **

**But please review and I give you lots of thanks for reading this. Seriously, I literally have the best readers and reviewers. Ask anyone. (Except anyone doesn't know who I am. You know what I mean. Whatever.) **

**Thanks.**

* * *

It was late and Cammie was missing Zach again. Which in all honesty, wasn't really much of a surprise, because she spent most of her nights (as well as her days) missing Zach.

Sometimes, when it was extra sunny out and the heat of the sun made her shorts stick to her skin and sweat run down her back, she was able to say (honestly say) that she was content. Not happy (she can't remember the last time she'd felt that), but content. A warmness in her belly that satisfied that thirst for someone's arms around her waist, and a chin on her shoulder.

She didn't think she was lonely. She had made friends at College, really, she had. There was Martin, and Connor, and that girl named Bex who she'd gone to high school with but had never really talked to. They were great and they took Cammie out for beers on Friday nights when she really just felt like choking herself with her own poetry and misery. They made her laugh so hard that the ramen noodles she had eaten for lunch nearly flew out her left nostril. No matter that they were supposed to be studying.

She could accept that her life wasn't bad, she could admit it too. She got good grades, and was on a scholarship that would leave her only ankle high in debt once she graduated. Cammie knew her life was good.

But that didn't stop her from waking up at three in the morning, sweating and alone, reaching out and patting the space around her tiny single person bed, searching for another warm body. It didn't mean she didn't miss the pulse in her spike she used to get when she found a _good morning_ note next to her pillow, when he couldn't be there to greet him herself. Or even the newspaper that littered the floor of her bathroom even though she she had told him countless times '_Goddammit, is it really that hard to pick up your newspaper off the floor!'._

Cammie missed being with Zach.

And a week after College had started and she felt so lonely she thought she could just roll over and die and no one would notice, she thought about calling him. She may have been under the influence of five too many beers that some senior named Logan had given her, but the thought was there none the less. But she didn't call him that night, and she threw up all over her small bathroom floor the next morning.

She didn't have a roommate and that was okay, because Cammie didn't really feel like putting up with another person's angst anyhow. The bed on the other side of the small dorm room mostly just gathered dust and remained untouched.

She filled the empty pit in her chest with over cooked ramen noodles and cheesy romance novels, because even at eighteen she couldn't cook for shit. She probably ate one too many bowls and could see the chubbiness in her cheeks start to become more defiant. But a month later Bex told her she looked so cute, like a little china doll, with her chubby cheeks and glass blue eyes, so Cammie dismissed the worry and bought more _Top Ramen _off the 99 cent rack at her Super Market.

Sundays were the worst. At night mostly.

When she sat in bed watching reruns of _Friends_ on her beat up laptop with nobody but Ben and Jerry and occasionally Mike and Ike to keep her company. They used to climb to the top of her roof (they couldn't climb his and they didn't really go to his house all that much anyhow) and Cammie would take out her computer and play _Friends _with the volume at half so the neighbors wouldn't hear and on nights where the stars seemed infinite in the sky and Zach's eyes shined brighter than them all. She would open up doors within herself that she had kept locked for ages, and she'd show Zach her poetry.

She wrote about all kinds of things. She wrote about the man on the corner of 23rd street who's left eye was permanently closed shut and the lady with seven children that she used to babysit for. But mostly she liked to write about Zach. And how she could stick her finger in his dimple and his eyes would crinkle like a candy wrapper. And she liked to write about the curve of his neck, and the curve of his spine, and all the other nooks and crannies of his long body.

Sundays were the worst.

It hurt most when she reopened the poems and read them out loud to the empty space in her dorms and the memory of all their shared moments crashed into her like a tsunami, drowning her and filling her up.

.

.

_Cammie peeked into the window again and wondered if he could see her. She felt stealthy, she was sure he hadn't noticed. He was attending the customer in line, some older man with a brief case and bushy eyebrows. He greeted his customer with a smile (he always smiled at his customers) and said '_hello there!' _and 'would you like to try our special mocha freeze?' . He was always nice and perfect and Cammie really wanted to hold his hand. And maybe throw frisbee with him on Saturdays at the park._

_But it had been thirteen days since she had first seen him, and Cammie hadn't really talked to him, or said any other words besides '_Um, I'd like a hot chocolate?' _and even then, she was sure she had stuttered or mumbled or something equally as unintelligent. _

_She looked too another peek, but he wasn't there. Instead there was some cheerful brunette with big eyes and braces in his place. Cammie furrowed her eyebrows. He had been there a second ago. Maybe his shift had ended? She thought it was another twenty minutes? Cammie fretted, trying to resist the urge to bite her nails. Bad habit._

_"Are you stalking me?" _

_Cammie yelped and turned around, eyes wide and heart pounding. She felt her face heat up and her legs felt like jelly or rubber or something soft. _

_Cammie stared at Zachary Goode with wide eyes and trembling lips._

_"I uh, what! I uh. I." She didn't know what to say. But oh my god. She had never been this close to him before. Except when she had ordered that hot chocolate, but even then there had been a counter separating them. And oh god. His eyelashes were even longer up close. And dark, and Cammie really wanted to reach out and touch them._

_"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, I just, I noticed you standing outside, and well. I kind of see you every time I'm on shift... So I was just wondering..." He trailed off and chuckled and ran his hand through his hair, his eyes dancing around Cammie's face, not really sure where to place them. Her eyes followed his movements, and Zach's eyes followed Cammie's. Waiting. Wondering to see what she would say._

_Cammie took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. _

_"I um. I'm not stalking you. I just." Cammie felt her ears turn pink and she was glad she decided to wear a hat. But it was kind of hard to look this boy in the eyes. Mostly, because she was fairly certain she was stalking him, or something like that._

_Zach gave her a playful smile and Cammie swore she saw his eyes twinkle. _

_"Oh really?" He took a step closer and Cammie nearly squeaked. He smelled like coffee beans and something else boyish. Something like Lucky Charms._

_Cammie took a step back and gulped. He was really standing too close._

_"Yeah. I just you know? Walk around here a lot. I like to exercise by places that sell coffee is all." _

_Cammie was pretty sure she sounded like an idiot. _

_"There's another Cafe just around the corner, don't you go there?" Zach asked and Cammie wondered if his name was really Zach or if the name tag was lying to her._

_"Uh yeah, but it smells bad, and you smell good," Cammie managed to get out._

_Zach's eyes widened and he bit down his smile and stared hard at Cammie, willing her to realize what she had just said. Cammie's eyes filled in confusion at the look he was giving her until she realized what she had just spilled out. _

_"Oh! No! I didn't mean. Oh god." _

_Zach stopped holding back his smile and a loud boisterous laughter fell out of his mouth and he nearly keeled over from the force of it. _

_Once he managed to calm himself down, (Cammie was too busy freaking out to really notice anything at all) a serious look melted onto his face and he took a couple steps until he was really close to Camme. _

_Cammie could almost taste the coffee in his breath and she thought it smelled kind of bad, but then again she was so far gone, it smelled kind of good too. He cliched the moment and took a strand of her hair and tucked it behind her ear, all gentle and delicately. And then he leaned in real close and his head stayed there a while and Cammie wondered just what the hell he was doing. But she as she stood frozen and another moment passed, she realized he was sniffing her hair. _

_When he finally pulled back he was smiling all happy like, and Cammie kind of wanted to take a picture. Like with one of those old polaroid cameras. So she wouldn't have to wait to see it, and the emotion would be fresh, and the greeness of his eyes would be fresh and touchable, still needing to be dried. _

_"I need to get back to work, but just for the record, you smell nice too." He shot her a charming smile and Cammie wondered if it could be considered a cause of death. _

_He walked off from where he had come from, the back entrance, Cammie realized and just before the door shut she heard a faint, "See you later, Stalker."_

_._

_._

Sundays were the days she would have to shake herself out of those overwhelming dazes, the ones where the memories felt so clear and so rich, like she was actually there. When she did shake herself out of those dazes, she usually ended up crying herself to sleep.

Too bad tears don't make things better.

She was the only person she knew that craved Mondays. Because Mondays meant classes and Cammie loved learning, it came easy to her, and she enjoyed it. On Mondays she had so much homework to do, she didn't have time to think about boys with bright eyes and coffee breath.

That didn't mean she didn't day dream during lectures from her intro to phycology class.

Everyone day dreams.

Hers just happened to consist of boys with green eyes and fireworks on the 4th of July.

.

.

_They had been dating for a month now. Zach had asked her to be his girlfriend a day after Cammie had been at the Cafe, and some twenty year old with a name he didn't care to remember had shared a blueberry muffin with her. And he made Cammie laugh at jokes that Zach really didn't think were funny, but her eyes lit up in a way that he thought only he could bring out, and Zach felt something uncomfortable at the pit of his stomach. After that he decided he really didn't want Cammie sharing blueberry muffins with anyone but him, and the rest was history. _

_Cammie didn't have any plans for the 4th of July. Her mom and her had stopped doing fireworks when her dad died, and Cammie's mother decided work was more important than family. But that was twelve years ago. So, no. Cammie wasn't busy. _

_"Do you maybe want to spend the 4th with me? I mean if you don't have plans, that is?" Zach had asked Cammie._

_They were sitting on her roof and Cammie had a bowl of popcorn nestled between her thighs and Zach was sitting next to her and they were having a lazy Sunday and Cammie was showing Zach a file on her computer that she had specially reserved for cute pictures of baby cows. _

_"Yeah. That sounds fun and great" Cammie responded. She didn't really know where this was going._

_Zach grinned. "Well it will be. Fun. _and_ great." _

_Cammie stuck her tongue at him, and he did the same, and they kissed like lovers, even though Cammie didn't really know what that meant._

_So a week later Cammie dressed in her best summer dress (she only had three, but she wore the green one with the little daisies) and she got out her coziest blanket and an old lawn chair they kept stored in the garage, and she brought a pack of pop-its because Zach had given her a list of things to bring. But he hadn't shared what they were doing. But Zach was going to be there, so Cammie thought that was good enough._

_He picked her up in his old pick up truck, the one he had inherited from his grandfather when he passed away three summers ago. Cammie thought it looked hideous, mostly because it was yellow, but Zach loved it, so she loved it just the same. _

_Zach got out of the car and opened the door for her and Cammie grinned and pecked him on the cheek, because she was so lucky that she had a boyfriend who opened the car door for her and ate Lucky Charms for breakfast. _

_He greeted her with a small 'hey babe' and they were on their way._

_He took her to an cute little cul-de-sac where the lawns were trimmed and there were pretty flowers by the entrances of most of the houses. It was cute and quaint and Cammie wondered if it was from a movie set. _

_Zach led her to an area surrounded by a large group of men and women in their thirties (parents, Zach had said) who had a rainbow of lawn chairs spread out in a row. She met Lucy and John, an older couple, who had a sixteen year old named Stephanie. She met Cora, the blonde woman with the two toddler twins, Dan and Ron. So many people, so many families, that Cammie wondered where this sense of community had been all her life. _

_As it got later, the ten year olds and the daring seven year olds brought out the sparklers and pop-its and began to light up the evening sky. Cammie watched in glee, loving to see the children laugh (it really was just like a movie) and she sipped her root beer and kissed the taste of Sun Chips right off of Zach's lips._

_"I used to live here." Zach was whispering in her ear as the sky got darker and the small fire works began to be set up. _

_"We moved away two years ago, but I can't imagine going anywhere else for the 4th."_

_Cammie smiled fondly and nodded._

_"Where are your parents?"_

_Zach cleared his throat and Cammie thought she saw his ears turn just a light shade of peach._

_"They um, went away to our lake house." _

_Cammie laughed and wiggled her eyebrows._

_"Oooh, a get away of sorts?" She let her voice take on a teasing edge, even though her cheeks were starting to turn red as well._

_"Ew, Cam, didn't know you had such a dirty mind," Zach tutted and turned his nose up, and Cammie was certain her cheeks were red now. _

_"You love it," She replied bravely, and she felt like a flirt, but it was fun._

_Zach gave her a thoughtful look, the kind he pulled every now and again where Cammie really had no idea what he was thinking about, and it kind of freaked her out but warmed her heart at the same time._

_"Yeah, maybe." _

_As the evening turned into night, the bigger fire works, the ones with the greens and the purple sparkers, and the hot white screamers came out and the little kids with the red cheeks began to nod off. Cammie and Zach abandoned their lawn chairs, and cuddled up together, wrapped up in their blankets and tangled in each others limbs. _

_Every time a firework would shoot out sparks, Cammie flinched or gasped and Zach laughed and bit her ear affectionately, shooting her a wink when she playfully glared back at him. They ooed and ahhed along with the all the other ten year olds and all of Zach's old neighbors. _

_And by 11 o'clock the finale went off, and the fire lit up the sky, constant, bright, and colorful. Cammie gaped at it and when the last one shot up into the sky, Cammie turned to Zach with wide, bright eyes._

_"Thank you." _

_She couldn't remember ever being so sincere in her life. The warmness in her belly was better and softer than she had ever imagined it would be._

_"You're welcome."_

_Cammie and Zach smiled at each other, almost drugged by the hallmark event, their skin stuck together and they kissed in the quaint little cul-de-sac, not even caring whether or not the little kids saw._

_But the parents cooed at them and made little awwing sounds, and Cammie wondered if this was what love felt like. _

_._

_._

"Hey Cam, you busy Friday night? The boys want to go to some basement concert. I dunno, but there will be drinks, so it should be bearable."

Cammie looked up at Bex through dazed eyes.

"Um, what?"

Bex sighed at her friend, but knew to be patient with her. She had to break up with her boyfriend to, when the time come to move away for college. Plus, she hated long distance. But, she understood.

"Were you even listening to a word I've been saying?" Bex huffed annoyed.

They were 'studying' in Cam's small dorm room, and Bex had the extra bed all to herself. She easily spread out her long limbs all the way across the bed, her books littered the floor.

Cammie blinked at her, before replying, "Yeah, um, basement thing on Friday?"

Bex nodded, satisfied. "So, you wanna? Go, I mean."

Cammie shrugged, "Sure, sounds cool."

"I'm sure it'll be fun, Logan will be there. Your remember him, right? You got wasted and you let him stick his tongue down your throat." Bex giggled and wiggled her eyebrows at Cammie. Cammie thought it was the weirdest thing she had ever seen someone do.

"Uh, vaguely. I was pretty gone," Cammie mumbled, she didn't exactly remember the tongue, but remembered the day after. Mostly just the throwing up.

"Yeah well, I think he likes you."

Cammie snorted, she didn't even know Logan's surname. Not that it really mattered to her anyways.

"Yeah, I'm not really looking for anything, you know?"

Bex sighed again, all long and sad, giving Cammie a look that made her feel bad.

"Oh come on, this is college, you're supposed to live a little. Hook up with hot seniors named Logan, all that shit."

Cammie rolled her eyes, but felt her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. Bex noticed, and well, her eyes widened.

"Oh shit! Have you...Have you not, like. Have you not popped the cherry?" She was gaping at Cammie, and if Cammie wasn't blushing so hard, she might have laughed at her friend.

"NO! I mean yes, I have, I just um, that was a while ago." Cammie managed to get out.

She was blushing hard now, remembering the conversation she had with her ex.

.

.

_"Do you remember that lake house I told you about?" Zach asked. They were out to dinner in some small italian place. Cammie ordered spaghetti and meatballs and Zach ended up eating them all, because Cammie said they tasted like horse meat, but Zach was hungry and a boy, so really it didn't were now sharing dessert, lemonade gelatos. _

_"Mmmm, the one your parents went to for the 4th of July?"_

_"Yeah, that one."_

_And Zach gave Cammie this intense look and Cammie felt her heart beat fast in her chest. She was nervous._

_"Yeah, um what about it?"_

_Zach looked down and he twirled the spoon in his hands nervously. He swallowed before looking up to reply._

_"Would you maybe want to go there? Like for the weekend?"_

_Cammie stared at Zach. _

_And she blinked._

_And she felt her face heat up and turn red._

_"Alone? In a lake house? With you?" Cammie stuttered out, because oh god, was he asking what she thought he was asking._

_"Uhm," Zach cleared his throat and looked embarrassed, "You don't have to, if you're not ready. Uhm, I mean if you don't want to go, you don't have to." Zach looked completely mortified at this point, ears red and everything. Cammie would have cooed at the cuteness of it, if she wasn't so embarrassed._

_"I do! I mean, I want to...it's just..." Cammie trailed off and stared down at her lap._

_"What?" Zach asked, but he had this deflated look, and Cammie felt bad._

_"Zach, you're going to be a senior in high school, and I'm going to college." _

_Zach gave her a blank, confused look._

_"And?"_

_"Zach, that's illegal. I'm eighteen and you're only seventeen. Like, we can't do that." _

_Zach stared at Cammie for a long moment, before he broke out into laughter. _

_Cammie gave him a blank look._

_"Is that all? You're worried about my innocence? Hmmm, big bad Cammie gonna take away my innocence?" Zach teased easily._

_Cammie glared._

_"It's not funny! I could go to jail!"_

_"No, you're right, it's just. I was so worried, you didn't want to like, I dunno, like you didn't want me in that way. And you're worried you'll go to jail? It's really just funny, is all."_

_Cammie sighed and grumbled, and felt like Oscar the Grouch, but she didn't let up. _

_"This is serious, Zach. Of course I want to... you know," Cammie blushed again and Zach laughed, "But I don't think we should risk it." _

_Zach gave her a long look and sighed but nodded._

_"That's okay. I can wait. But we are going to have some amazing birthday sex." He replied firmly. _

_This time Cammie did laugh, and she felt the blush reach all the way down to the tips of her toes. _

_And when they finally did go to the lake house, they did more than just swimming in the lake. Not even age difference could stop it._

_. _

_._

When she got back from the basement party it was four in the morning. She had to drag Bex to her own dorm, to keep her from going home with some strange guy, who Cammie was fairly certain didn't even go to their college. And. On top of that, she had to beg Martin to keep Logan away from her all night while she hid in the corner with a beer and a book.

It was all really unbearable, but Bex was having fun, as were the others, so she let it slide.

Cammie collapsed on her bed tried to fall asleep, but the buzz of the night was keeping her up. She tiredly brought out her laptop and scrolled through the internet aimlessly.

Checking her e-mail, she found one new message.

_i miss you. i'm sorry. _

_-Z_

Cammie sighed sadly and deleted the e-mail, she was too drained of her energy to deal with this sadness right now. She shut her laptop and threw her head on her pillow. She could deal with it in the morning.

.

.

_"Hey Cam, what are we going to do in September?" _

_Cammie wanted to choke on her blueberry muffin. She felt her face flush and she turned away. _

_"It's only August, why do we have to worry about that now?" Her voice was nervous and quiet, and it sent warnings out, but Zach had that look in his eye, and Cammie knew he wouldn't stop until he got an answer._

_Cammie adjusted herself on her couch and turned off the T.V. they had been watching (Some nature channel, Cammie wasn't really paying attention) and turned to face Zach. _

_"I go to Boston in September, you know that." And she really didn't want to talk about this._

_Zach gave her a pointed look, and his eyes were furrowed and Cammie sighed._

_"You know what I mean. I'll be a senior... I'll be..." Zach trailed off and he looked like he was struggling to find the right words, "I'll be here."_

_Cammie bit her lip. _

_"Yeah."_

_Zach eyed her. "That's all you have to say?"_

_Cammie shifted uncomfortably._

_"Can we not talk about this?" Cammie didn't want to talk about this. She hated endings. She didn't want this to end. Nononononononono._

_Zach's eyes furrowed and he got this deep look._

_"Cam, we can't _not _talk about this. You leave for Boston in a month. What happens then?"_

_She shot Zach a pitiful look._

_"I don't know."_

_She did that little thing where she shrugged and her eyes got all wide and innocent and Zach really loved the look, but he kind of hated it right now._

_"Um well, I was thinking..." Zach gave Cammie this shy look and she wasn't really sure where this was going. "Like maybe you could like transfer to the local university for your first year and then like I dunno, when I graduate we could both go to Boston?" _

_Zach was twisting his thumbs nervously and Cammie had never heard him sound so uncertain about anything._

_She stared at him with big eyes. Stunned. Shocked. _

_She blinked._

_"Are you..Do you...You want me to stay through my first year?" _

_Cammie hated how incredulous she sounded, but she couldn't stop herself._

_"Well, yeah, I mean, I know long distance wouldn't work, it never does. But, I really don't want break up and I know you don't really want to talk about this, I mean I know it's asking a lot..." Zach trailed off and bit his lip. _

_Cammie was still in shock._

_"I can't transfer. I mean, they wouldn't let me, not until Spring semester, and I can't transfer. I can't..." Cammie gave Zach a hopeless look._

_"I know it would be hard, but don't you think it would be worth it?" Zach's voice sounded strained and Cammie looked away._

_"Think about what you're asking me, Zach."_

_Zach shifted._

_"I know it's a lot.." He was just repeating himself at this point._

_"No, I don't think you do," her voice was quiet, "Zach, I've wanted to go to BU since I knew what college was. I can't give that up because of some boy."_

_"Some boy? Is that what I am to you?" Zach gave Cammie a hurt look and Cammie bit her lip hard, she didn't mean to say that. Not that._

_"No! That's not what I meant. Ugh! It's just, I really like you, Zach. But, I can't give this up. Okay? I can't."_

_She didn't know what else she could say._

_Zach gave her a deflated look, and the hurt in his eyes darkened and turned into something that looked dangerously like anger._

_"You're right," his voice was flat and Cammie wanted to reach out and grab his arm, "This whole thing was stupid anyhow."_

_Cammie's eyes widened._

_"What?"_

_"I mean, this whole thing was shit anyhow. I knew we were going to have to break up, but I just thought you cared more..." Zach trailed off and he looked upset, and he was running his hands through his hair. And his words were hitting Cammie right in the gut, but she could feel the bitterness rolling off Zach in waves. _

_She didn't know what to do._

_"I do care."_

_"Not enough apparently," Zach muttered._

_"Hey, that's not fair. This is my life we're talking about, my future, Zach this is important to me."_

_Cammie was pretty sure Zach knew he was being ridiculous. _

_"And what? I'm not important to you?"_

_"Goddammit Zach! You know what I mean, stop twisting things around because you didn't get what you want!" Cammie was exasperated._

_Zach stayed quiet and silence fell heavy between them._

_He got up slowly and picked up his jacket off of the back of the couch. He turned and gave Cammie a look that she had never seen before._

_"You're right. It's not worth it, this," he gestured his hands around for emphasis. "it's not working, and it's obviously not going to work in the future. Might as well save both of us time."_

_Cammie stood up, eyes wild._

_"Zach, come on, don't be rash." _

_He didn't respond._

_"Zach!"_

_He turned his body slowly and started heading to the door._

_Cammie felt tears build up in her eyes._

_"Zach, if you walk out that door, I don't ever want to see your face again!"_

_Cammie was shaking._

_Zach shut the door behind him._

_She hated endings._

_._

_._

"I'm never drinking again," Bex groaned loudly, complaining to her friend.

Cammie chuckled quietly and poured her another cup of coffee with a side of aspirin.

"Want me to make you some breakfast?" Cammie asked.

"Yes please, oh my god Cammie, you're like a life saver, I don't know what I'd do without ya," She blurbed out.

Cammie laughed and started scrambling about her small kitchen, making Bex her favorite hangover breakfast.

"So, did you get another one of them 'take me back' messages last night?" Bex was speaking loudly through her food.

Cammie sighed loudly and nodded.

"You think he was at one of those senior parties? Like last time when he left that long slurred song, singing about his undying love for you..." Bex giggled and made a little swooning motion.

"Yeah, I don't think he's really aware of what he's doing to be honest." Cammie mumbled, a hint of sadness laced through her voice.

"The poor lovesick puppy misses his owner?" Bex teased and Cammie gave Bex one of those 'fuck off' looks that she reserved just for her.

"No, but really. You should at least, I dunno, cut him off. Tell him you have a new boyfriend, or just like do something, he needs to move on, the poor bastard."

"Yeah, I thought it was pretty clear when we broke up," Cammie sighed.

If she was being honest, she didn't know how much more of these love sick messages she could handle. She was barely hanging on as it was, but to add these desperate reminders of what she could of had... it was just too much.

She wanted to tell him, tell him that he needed to stop.

She was hurting just as much, and she didn't know what to do about it.

"I mean what part of summer fling does this boy not understand?"

Cammie kind of flinched, but she couldn't really blame Bex for being honest.

"Yeah, I dunno."

"Younger men, I tell you. When I was a junior, I dated some freshman, and let me tell you, worst decision of my life. Those younger boys, as cute as they are, they're just too clingy." Bex's hands were flying about, small bits of waffle flying off her fork.

"We were only a year apart."

"Oh, well still, you know what I mean."

Cammie rolled her eyes.

"Sure."

"No, but seriously, what are you gonna do? You can't just let him keep doing this," Bex's voice got quiet, and her movements were still, "I can tell it's still hurting ya, I mean, even the boys can tell, and Connor is pretty much shit when it comes to girls."

Cammie sighed.

"I don't know what to do."

Bex huffed and looked Cammie nervously in the eye.

"Look, I know it was hard on you, but you need to figure this out."

"God Bex, I know, okay? But, what am I supposed to do? I can't get over him, with him leaving all these messages on my voicemail, my e-mail, all these texts, and I sure as hell can't go back to him! I...God." Cammie felt miserable and she threw her head in her hands.

Bex merely stared.

"Well...You should probably figure it out soon."

Cammie looked up.

"What, why?"

"Yeah, well, it's actually a really funny story," Bex let out a nervous laugh, "Remember how I told you I had a cousin visiting a couple days ago, so we couldn't study at my place?"

Cammie nodded anxiously, vaguely having memory of the event.

"Yeah, well, it turns out, that may have been a lie, because like, he called you one day and you were in the shower and like, I dunno... I thought it would be funny to pick up and really like mess with the guy?"

Cammie gaped at her.

"You didn't."

"Yeah, so he kind of said he wanted you back, and Cammie, you should of heard him, he was like full on heart broken, worst I've heard. So, I told him he could come up for a visit and stay in my dorm?" She ended it like a question, and Cammie hoped to God this was some kind of sick prank.

"He's been here? How long?" Cammie couldn't breathe. Had Bex been kidding about the senior party? Had Zach been _here _when he e-mailed her?

Zach was here. Zach was here. _Zach was here._

"Like since wednesday," Bex mumbled out, looking all ashamed.

Cammie could hardly think.

"Oh god. Where is..." She cleared her throat and tried to stop her heart from beating out of control. "Where is he now?"

"At Pearl Street Diner waiting for you?" Bex squeaked out.

"Wait, what!"

"Hey! Hey! Hear me out, okay? It sounds like you guys have a lot of shit to sort out, and you can hate me forever if you want, but at least go talk to the guy."

Cammie stared.

And stared.

And stared.

Bex gave Cammie a bashful and apologetic look.

"Thanks for breakfast, he's expecting you within the hour."

She wasted no time getting out of the house.

Leaving Cammie alone with an empty plate and a confused heart.

.

.

"Hi."

Cammie sat across from Zach and surveyed his appearance.

"Hey."

His voice was strained, his eyes duller than she had ever seen them, and there were big bags under his eyes, he looked as if he didn't know what the word sleep meant.

He spoke again. "Do you, do you wanna order something?"

Cammie shook her head, there was no way she could eat anything. Not now.

"Oh, okay."

Silence fell between them and Cammie wished the booths weren't so squeaky when she shifted positions.

"Did you cut your hair?" He tried to sound interested and it kind of tore at Cammie's heart.

She felt like she was talking to a stranger.

She had tasted this person's toothpaste straight from their teeth, and he was asking her about her hair?

"Yeah," Cammie cleared her throat, "I uh, I cut it. It was getting too long for my taste."

"Oh." It was kind of a sad 'oh'. And it wasn't hard to tell he had liked it long.

"So um, it's great to see you, but why are you here, Zach?"

He had this deflated look, no, not deflated. Desperate? Cammie didn't know.

"I miss you," Cammie could feel the heartache in every syllable. "I wanted to see you again. I... I just needed to see you."

Cammie gulped and her chest tightened uncomfortably.

"Zach," and she hated how small she sounded, "It's been more than a month..."

He look frustrated.

"God, Cammie. I know. I mean, I get it, I do. I tried to move on, like I tried really hard," his voice was pained and Cammie wondered if he spent most of his nights lonely too, "But I just _can't. _Things haven't been the same for me."

Cammie didn't say anything.

"Do you remember at the lake house when it was like three a.m. in the morning and you tried to teach me chess?"

Cammie felt a faint smile ghosting her lips before she could really stop it.

"And God, I was complete and utter shit at it, too. But, when school started up, I was missing you so much, and we have a chess club at my school and..." He trailed off and give Cammie one of those looks.

She kind of wished Bex hadn't compared him to a lovesick puppy, because it's all she could see.

"You...you joined chess club because of me?" Cammie choked out.

He nodded miserably. "I'm still complete shit at it, but God Cam, I need you."

Cammie wanted to cry. Really bad.

"And I know I screwed up, but please, I miss you so much Cammie. Would you please even consider taking me back?"

"Take you back? I-I-I-I don't know. I just. I." Cammie couldn't think over the sound of her heart beating.

"I'm in Boston, you're in Virginia."

"I know long distance would be hard, but Cam, just hear me out, okay? There's winter break and then spring break and summer and after that..." He trailed off.

"What? What's after that."

Zach was quiet now.

"I got in."  
Cammie couldn't hear him.

"What?"

"I got in...to BU."

Cammie could hardly believe what she was hearing.

"You-you- you're gonna go _here_? You're coming to Boston? You're coming to _Boston_?"  
Cammie couldn't believe it.

Zach smiled and Cammie thought she could see a little bit of the dullness in his eyes disappear.

"I got in to Boston."

Cammie was completely at a loss of what to do.

She could feel the yes on her lips. She wanted to say it to. But, there was something stopping her, and the excitement drained out of her and she sighed.

"Zach," her voice was quiet, "Last time we talked about this, you walked out the door and I told you not to come back."

His voice was pained when he responded, "I know Cammie. I fucked up in all ways possible. But, I'll make it up to you, I swear."

And because Cammie knew she couldn't really stop herself if she tried, she found herself nodding, and she smiled.

And something like happiness exploded inside of her.

"Okay."

Zach's eye lit up, and Cammie thought he would jump in the air.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

Zach grinned, dimples and all and leaned across the table to kiss Cammie.

She turned her head to the side at the last second, making him only graze her cheek.

"Not yet."

Zach pulled back frowning, but the twinkle in his eyes reminded Cammie that things could get better.

"Okay." And then he was smiling again and she grinned and they talked about college and life.

But mostly they just stared into each other's eyes, making up for lost time.

And Cammie hated endings.

But maybe this didn't have to end.

Not now.

Not yet.

* * *

**Oh Goodness. Well, I apologize for that sappy ending, but I started writing it, and then it just kept going and going and going and I didn't really know how to like, I dunno, cut it off. And I didn't want to like, just cut it off. I wanted to end it smoothly with a bow and such. But, that was kind of hard, so even though it was incredibly cheesy and slightly abrupt, I hope you enjoyed it. It was fun to write for the most part. **

**Side note, because I love to talk to you guys (You guys are actually pretty cool) I have somethings I wanted to ask you. **

** Firstly, what is your favorite book, like ever?**

**Secondly, in the written story above would you take your favorite quote, section, paragraph, etc, and copy and paste it at the end of your review? I just want to see what felt sentimental to you guys, or like what stuck. Just, I think it would be fun. **

**Lastly, if I told you guys I had a tumblr, who would follow it? (I literally have like two followers, it's a tough life, when you have no life.)**

**Thanks again for reading, it means literally so much. Please review and that's it for right now. :)**


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